I look better un-naked...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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