Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
