sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
