What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
