Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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