don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
