I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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