i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
high people should be assigned attendants
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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