Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
