Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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