i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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