Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
