all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Can you bring me the toilet please
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
