my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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