Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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