That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
