you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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