what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
