So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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