god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize