There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
