It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
