So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
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You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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