What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my penis had a tongue
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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