We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
