You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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