on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize