i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
