If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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