Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
