Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
