I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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