chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
