you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
