i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Send help, water and tortillas.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
