I hate your face
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
