Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize