i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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