yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
