Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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