Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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