it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
