you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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