I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
