I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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