I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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