I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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