were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
