and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
