Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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