Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
