I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
