I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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