No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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