I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize