look no pants
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
