i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
