I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
