Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
