Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
