Umm I'm too high to move.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
