Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
